Half-Blood

written by Chakriya PHOU

2019, I was at first year of university.
At my university, there was a short article contest to publish in weekly university press. Topic was free. The selected article got 10 USD.
The article needed to write in English, no longer than 2 pages.
I tried.
Title : I Fall In Love With Not Human

'I was born in Cambodia.
I hold Khmer identification card. I hold Khmer passport.
People ask where I was born. I tell them, I was born in Phnom Penh. Then people ask where my parents from. I say they were from Takeo province. They say people from Takeo have mix-blood of Vietnamese.
At that time, Cambodian do not like Vietnamese. After that, they do not talk with me because they think I am mixed of Vietnamese.
From that time, I do not dare to express my parents' hometown. When people ask, I say I don't know.
I like learning languages because I want to travel around the world and speak their languages.
Due to fear, I don't learn Vietnamese even I want. I am scared. I learn Thai.
When Cambodian and Thai have dispute, and people know I learn Thai language, even my friends, they do not communicate with me. They say I am not nationalism.
Then I don't tell anyone that I can speak Thai.
Next, Cambodian have not good view about Chinese people.
When I meet with friend or persons I know, they ask me question - they did not ask in the past, but now they do - where I was born. I say I was born in Cambodia. They ask what's about my parents or grandparents. I tell them that my parents were born in Cambodia but my grand father was from China. They say that I am half blood of Chinese, they show hate-face to me. They say not good word about my family.
I feel not good about people. I feel hatred towards human. I feel of injustice. I am scared of human especially, their eyes-expression. I am depressed and don't want to meet with people.
Since then I begin to fall in love with technology. Especially, social media. I feel I have completely freedom when I am with computer and internet. 
It does not discriminate me even I apply that I am Cambodian, it does not ask about my ancestors. It does not care where I come from or who I am, just I do follow its policy and community guideline is enough.
Because of that, I contact with people - in person - less. When I am free from school, I stay in my room with my laptop. I am very very content when I am with internet/social media. I feel it is my world, and human world is not for me.
I don't like human. I don't like people.
I like technology. I fall in love with tech. I love it. It's affection like between woman and man.
To me, social media is my boyfriend. And I have many boyfriends, facebook, youtube, twitter, blogger, wordpress etc. They are very good to me, they are very kind to me. They love me. They don't care what nationality I am. They are not jealous. All of them take care of me.
I think I am lucky to be born in this era. 
Sometimes, I am away from my boyfriends for there is no electricity or no internet, but my boyfriends are sincere to me, they wait for me. Sometimes, I lose for several months without inform them, they still wait for me. Sometimes, I feel bored and stop connect with them - deactivate - they are not angry with me, they wait for me, they recognize me and they accept me back happily. 
Where can I find such loyal boyfriends?
So, I cannot let them go. I have to embrace and love all with them with all my heart.
In the future, I will marry them.'

I submitted.
Three days later, I was called to administration room and told that my article was selected. They gave me award.
I was so glad. I accepted the cash. I thanked them and left the room.
Week after, I saw my text in weekly university press.

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