I have spent my time, my strength, my love to take care of the plants even a grass.
But in a night of heavy rain and strong wind, my garden becomes a mess.
Outsider might feel nothing, but for me, I feel exhausted and it's like I lose. I lose. Or maybe I am a loser. I don't know, but I feel like this.
I don't have strength to do anything. I don't have mood to write.
Before, I cared so much. I tried hard day and night to find article, now, I don't care if yaya idea has view or not.
I don't clean, just rise pots that fall to stand up, then I take a shower and go out with my sibling.
I go to mall.
I go to massage for one hour. During massage, I drink hot ginger tea; I sleep on sofa and allow my feet to be press. A kind of relax.
After, I go to park before the mall. I take photos of what I see. Mostly, I take photos of tree or nature, not human.
Suddenly, a huge rain drops. I don't get in. I stay under roof and take photos of the view during raining. I feel a peaceful when I'm taking photograph. I don't hear or see anything besides object in front of me, things that I want to have images to store in my phone memory.
You can see below.
I bet you don't understand why I take these photos; moreover, they are not pretty or standard photo, but I love all these; this is the best in me and I am proud of myself.
It cannot heal my mood one hundred percent, but at least, I find one or two topic to add to my yaya idea.
Life is to struggle.
Okay. Let's go forwards.