Job interview

written by Chakriya PHOU

In a company's room...

Interviewer : Hello, welcome to my company. Please show why I should hire you.

Interviewee : Because I have 3 qualifications.

Interviewer : What are they?

Interviewee : First, I speak honestly. Second, I share all knowledge/information. Third, if I do something wrong, I will accept my mistake.

Interviewer : Because of these 3 qualifications, I hope you'll find another job.

Interviewee : Why?

Interviewer : You speak honestly, it means you are not flexible. You share info, it means you cannot be my confidant because you would tell others about my story. You accept your mistake if you do wrong, it means you don't know the art of living. I'm sorry, man. Good luck to you.

Interviewee : !!!

When I go out with my guy

“Hey, two piggies.”

I looked for the voice owner, but I didn’t find them.

“What’s the matter?” My friend said.

“Someone called us two piggies,” I told.

“Then?”

“Aren’t you angry?”

“Why? They are correct. We are pig.”

“Oh, I forgot. My bad memory.”

I dream about strawberry

One night, I dreamt about a strawberry.
After I woke up, I thought about it; I wanted to eat strawberries. But where could I get it?
“In my yard, there was no one. In my neighbors’ yards, there was no one either. Where should I go to get a strawberry?
“In the jungle,” a crow said from a branch of a tree.
“In the jungle, there is a fox. You want to lure me to him to bite me to death, then you will share my meat. I won’t go,” I said.
“Oh you are not stupid as I heard,” the crow said before he flew away.

I don’t like to swim, but I can go to the lake

“Hey piggie, let’s go swim,” duck said.

“No. I’m hungry,” I said.

“Where I am going to swim, there is a lot of food nearby.”

“Let go.”

Cow is my friend

“Who said pig and cow could not be friends?” I said.

“No one says it,” they said.

“Oh, I was wrong. My bad. Sorry.”

 

 

Who are they?

“Hey buddy.”

I turned my face and saw two creatures hanging on my fence.

“Who are you?” I said.

“We are your neighbor,” they said.

“Oh, nice to meet you,” I said. “Welcome to Happy Village.”

After sleeping

The sun stood up high.

It was time to find food.

Should I go to the front yard or back yard?

Ah huh, I could go anywhere because it was inside my gate.

I am happy pig

I am the happiest pig in the world.

Um, so warm.

I like sleeping in my nest.

Knock, knock, knock.

“Who’s that?” I said.

“Me, your friend,” a voice from outside.

“I’m sleeping. Don’t bother me.”

Then I continued sleeping.

Too Late

written by Chakriya PHOU

A mother is giving instruction to her daughter.

Mother : Sweet heart, you are a girl. You have to take care of your body. Don't let anyone touch you. 

Daughter : It's too late, mum. Someone touched me. 

Mother : Tell me. I will go to report. 

Daughter : You cannot report because I am the person who gave permission. Not only touch but also press and squeeze. 

Mother : Tell me now who he is. 

Daughter : It's not ‘he’, it's ‘she’. She is a staff at a massage and spa. I went to her to get a massage. She touched, she pressed and she squeezed my whole body. My body was in pain but after that, it is good. Talking about it, I feel I want to go to her again.

Mother : !!!

Wish of a porcupine

written by Chakriya PHOU

There was a god. He stayed in heaven.

One day, he looked from his palace and saw that animals living on earth were difficult. He felt sorry for them. He wanted to help them but he could not show himself to them.

The god thought for a while then he decided to go into animals' dreams and asked them what they wanted and he made them accomplish. He went from one to one. Then it was the turn of the porcupine. 

The god came into its dream and asked, "Now, what do you wish for?"

The porcupine, nervously, said, "I don't dare to say for my wish you need to do it with your own hands."

The god smiled and said to it, "Don't be scared. Say it and I will do it for you."

Then the porcupine - shy - claimed that, "I want you to massage my body."

The god opened big eyes and froze.