edited by Arnold Zable
photographed by Chakriya PHOU
There is no mercy in this world.
I was dragged into this world; a man raped a girl; she got pregnant.
When I was in her womb, she wanted to give up on me; but I was lucky. Three months after conception, she drank medicine to get rid of me. Unfortunately, the medicine had expired.
She tried again when I was 3 and-a-half months, by going to see a doctor. The doctor refused. She went to another nurse; she agreed. I was lucky. On the day they made the appointment, the house of that nurse caught fire.
She did not stop thinking of getting rid of me. She tried many times. She jumped from the stairs, jumped from the first floor, rolled down a hill towards the rocks, etc. but at those moments, people helped her.
That girl cried every night. I could hear her crying. I saw her punch her abdomen strongly. I could feel how much she hated me.
When she cried, I cried too. I wanted to say sorry. I did not mean to upset her.
She ate little. Perhaps she wanted to kill me step by step. She couldn’t kill me openly; she had to do secretly.
Before long, it was 9 months and 10 days. I could not remain in the womb anymore. I had to get out. I did not care about anything besides freeing myself from that narrow space full of water. It was like snot and mucus.
At last, I was able to leave.
When I was born, the girl became sweet to me. She carried me. She kissed me. Her expression was completely different. But I did not feel anything from her warmth and love.
She cried and cried and cried…at that time, I could not hear her.
She cried loudly ‘Sorry, sorry, sorry’.I could not hear anything. I was dead. It was my destiny.