When you looking at the river

written by Chakriya PHOU

 

Eh, what are you looking at? River? The bank at another side of the river? Or are you looking at the sun? But the sun is covered by the clouds. Are you trying to see it? 

Well, you look gentle today. Normally, you were naughty. You ate a lot, but this morning you just had only a glass of milk. Are you not well? Are you upset with anyone? Is there anything wrong?

You know, today you behave strangely. You don’t talk with anyone. You seem not happy with this trip. You act that you are bored with all people. You make everyone scared and worry about you.

Since you arrived here, you just sit and look at that side. You don’t walk. There are many places to visit on this mountain, but you seem not interested in it.

What’s wrong with you? You smile. Who do you smile at? You smile alone. Eh, what's the matter?

Your face expression shows that there is something in your mind.

It is the Mekong River. The wind is cool. It is Kampong Cham province. Perhaps you are thinking of your childhood. Yes, Kompong Cham is your hometown. You are missing your house that you lived before. Your hometown is as same as the district of Teav, the main lady character in Khmer novel titled ‘Tum Teav’. You nod your head. You are missing it for sure.

Tboung Khnom, you were born there. You stayed in a house with your parents and your siblings happily. You stayed shortly. Your family moved to the city when you were young. You rarely visit your hometown. That's why this time you feel missing it so much. You want to visit it. You want to see your old house.

You are thinking and comparing your past and your present. Also, you ask about your future; what will it be?

You know that you cannot return, but you may feel happy when you think about your past because it was a happy time.

The thing you are afraid of is about the future. It is because you cannot see it. You cannot see even this evening, tonight, or tomorrow. You try, but it’s impossible. If you can see it, you will feel relaxed.

You take a deep breath. According to the health advice, taking deep breath is good. It brings Oxygen to lungs and brain.

You should not worry much. Yes, you do it correctly. It is lunchtime so it is better to stop thinking of anything and go to eat. Let's go.